Le Clique

In some hostels I have been aware of the cliquey group. 

Usually its the people either working there and/or those staying long term, very often French - which makes sense I suppose, as its their word - and I have to say, this is just an observation and NOT a rule as I have met and chatted to many really great, friendly French travellers and staff and long term people too.

I suppose I really felt this in my last hostel.

(Although a young lad there who started chatting to me and was so nice was French, from Normandy. He had been travelling for 10 years! Its bad to label people! If everyone believed the labels no-one would go near an English person after all!)

The German boy at the Bundaberg hostel, (where actually, the group of French guys were lovely - which is why I hate when people stereotype) Mortitz described it perfectly. He said 'they are a closed off group & there's no way in.' which is the actual definition of a Clique. He must have felt it too and he is a young guy.

So particularly for an old lady like me there's really no way in!.....not that I care....their conversation is usually extremely boring & predictable.
And everything they've done or said I've already done or seen myself.

I think travelling alone has made me focus my mind a little and, perhaps, enabled me to cast out some demons.

I have experienced this a lot throughout my life. At secondary school - I felt I had nothing in common with the big group of 'trendy' girls. One of them actually said they didn't really want me in their group.

And there was the Cassington Clique - now I think about it they'd be called yummy mummies today - the B's ......and others.

'I am an Island' - somebody told me I was, not in a nasty way, and I think it's a good thing. 

Better to think for yourself and have your own ideas. It makes you stronger too.

I prefer the 'freak'...... be different....the outsider...do your own thing.....be more interesting.

What I have come to realise is that the people outside the clique ARE more fun & interesting. The people in Cassie were. You even see it now in television & comedy - like in Motherland. .......most of the main characters are the 'outsider group' - they are the heart of the show - with the exception of the head of the clique mums - Amanda.

The sheep mums don't really play a part and are just extras......

.......who wants to be an extra in your own life!

I was once called 'Boring' at school because I was fairly quiet and not good at small talk.....saying nothing....talking for the sake of talking......funny, isn't it, because, really, that kind of talk is whats boring.

But that comment upset me for years.

I'm actually, now, quite good at it - small talk that is - but that has grown steadily with age and also having the ability to find 'my people', and perhaps not to care so much.

I think my life has been 1000 times more interesting than the person who called me boring.

In fact, the very same person, years later (but more than twenty years ago now) said to me, 'wow, you always have such interesting jobs!'

And the guy at Argos who said I was 'non-descript'....this upset me for ages too....now I think....well if he couldn't 'describe' me that's his failing. His ignorance and inability to see or describe beyond the boring obvious. The stereotypical........but actually he was just a thick, ignorant little dickhead.

I'll leave it there and leave you with porcupine tree - this song - about an outsider - maybe someone they would call neurodivergent now......not really me - but it's a great song anyway